raining thursday

i was late to the office today. been prep since dark, get myself ready to go but then this cute little baby's crying so loud and want me to breastfeed her directly. forget the time, baby's need coming first. and then she peed on me, on my ready-to-work-outfit, hahaha... life!

after a while, she's been on her sleep. really, if i can, i'd rather be home with her now. but the job's wait. gotta go asap, or there will be a warning about being-so-damn-late.

half of the road, i just remembered that i forgot to bring one part of my breastpump tool set. gosh! not possible to go back, then i decided to continue riding.

here at the office, after the craziness of not pumping the breastmilk, having so many articles to be editted, planning to go an event at noon seems not enough for me. then my baby's nanny called, said that the breastmilk supply on the fridge wouldn't be enough till nite when i got home, and it seems like there'll be a very hard rain. after telling her the things she needs to prepare when it's raining so hard while she's only alone with my baby, i've gotta called from hubby who deliver the-important-part of the breastpump thing.

then i thought, it would be great to pump some breastmilk and call the breastmilk delivery service to pick it up and deliver it to home so my baby won't need to drink the instant formula milk. the hard time doesn't stop there, while the delivery service said that they're booked for today and couldn't take any order, my boss asked me about the articles i need to collect. meanwhile, on the phone, the hrd asked me to go to the event now since the office car is about to leave right away.

then my phone rang. it's from my nanny who told me that there's no more breastmilk supply on the fridge and it's raining hard at the house and the water is getting into the house. she's panic. i'm panic more. i called hubby, he's on his way to the work. he's got a show at this mall, means he couldn't back home. i couldn't go home early since it's also raining outside my window.

i wish there's a pause button.
at least for a minute, for me to breath.

sometimes i feel i don't have enough energy to do this. sometimes, i just wanna lay down and cry, pretend like life is so easy.

or maybe it's easy and i'm just the one who doesn't realize it?